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On Clinton's last trip to Hawaii, he went swimming at Waikiki Beach. He got
caught in a riptide and was been pulled out to sea. Three young surfers swam
out to him and brought him to shore. He wanted to reward them, and asked
what they would like. The first said he wanted to be a fighter pilot, and
Clinton said he would get him an appointment to the A. F. Academy. The
second one said he wanted to command a submarine. "Fine, I'll get you into
the Naval Academy." The third said he wanted to be buried at Arlington.
Clinton looked puzzled and asked why such a young person was concerned about
where he would be buried. "Because", said the surfer, "my father is a
Vietnam Veteran, and when I go home and tell him I saved your life, he's
going to kill me."
A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking
around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the
ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out
of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice." The drunk looks around,
but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "As I
said before, there are no fish under the ice." The drunk looks all around,
high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one
more time to finish. Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice
interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!" The
drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "How do
you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?" "No", the voice
replied. "I am the manager of this hockey area!
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